PARTY!!!

its saturday!
8pm
at the watershed!
5040 SE Milwaukie
Portland, OR 97202

if you are still playin, better keep your game face on at the party! its not over till its over. and if you dont come to the party you will be disqualified.

peace!

game 2?

I am way too busy with work and stuff to run this game again. so the question is: do you want to?

email me if you have the time.

expect about 4 days for setup that will take several hours then about 20 min to an hour a day after that.

my new job!

i got a job and i have been working a shit ton. its eating up all my assassin time. if you need updates or want to stay in the loop, hit me up on my celly.

503.839.5820

MAJOR UPSET!

One of the most dedicated assassin in the game was unable to find his target after extensive hunting. Last night he shared with some people his dismay and frustration at not being able to find this particular person. This person happened to be there and heard the conversation. Instead of running, he accidentally gave himself away. He was killed on the spot. His killer had but in much work to track this guy down, only to randomly be hanging out without realizing it.

The excitement was too much and he fired instantly upon realizing who he was talking to.

ONLY TO BE KILLED BY ANOTHER PLAYER WHO HAPPENED TO BE WATCHING THE WHOLE THING!!!!!!!!

WOW! now this patient observer has two targets, his original and an extra one acquired when he cleaned up this messy display on a rooftop!

That is how the fucking game is fucking played, people!

Read, learn, take notes, cower in fear!

Party!

looks like the party will go down Saturday, July 10.

Movies, drinking, awards, bikes, grilling, music and more!

We are going to set up a mugshot station so we can have sweet profiles made on the spot for round 2!

Also, im thinking the people who win awards will have a chance to change or add a rule (pending crowd approval)

Party at the Watershed!

Time Limits Pending

If i have not heard from you you better check in soon. You have to make an attempt every seven days at least. You have to TRY. and you have to do it soon. or you are goin on the wanted list.

By the way, i have given up on paper files for now. Anybody got beef with that?

Dirty Backstabbing Double Crossers!

The assassin known as Black Widow was killed recently. I arranged to meet with her to discuss some information critical to her survival. She insisted that she bring some body guards. I insisted that she not trust ANYBODY! While attempting to arrange a secure and safe meeting she was surprised to find her self at knife point! and the person wielding the knife was one of her posse!!!

Her assassin tried to arrange the terms of an alliance (albeit a tense and shaky one, forged at the tip of a sharpie) when Black Widow's body guard steeped in, attempting a rescue. He was unsuccessful and she died on the spot.

Kill Report!

Here is a report from the assassin Nightshade

Saturday, 9:45 pm: I knew I was in trouble when two people wearing messenger bags came in to eat at the restaurant ten minutes before closing. I even hungout a bit longer, made a few phone calls and drank a martini while surveying the street to make sure they were gone. I snuck out the backdoor loaded gun in hand, but in the parking lot I heard steps running after me. I turned and was perhaps even the first to fire, but his gun had better range.

This is another case where weapon choice was the deciding factor. Strategy and paranoia will only get you so far without the right gear. I can't emphasize that enough.

Sounds like a good show HookersAndBlow. Congratulations on your first kill. You were spotted before you striked, but you still got it. Next time i would try to remain invisible until the moment of truth, but thats just me.

Are you people paying attention to this? There are valuable lessons here.

Tentitive Party Dates

When this is all said and done, there will be a sweet wrap up party. Music, movies, drinking, games, awards, prizes, condemnations, the list goes on. And you will be able to sign up for the 2nd round. We will have an official Mug Shot station too!

The dates I am looking at now are Friday July 2nd or Saturday July 3rd.

Any feedback on that would be welcome.

But if we are going to have the party that soon, you fuckers need to get your kill on!!

Go do it!

Inital Reports!

I hate to say too much before the details are all in, but i think the first kill of the game was defensive! I hear that some wary assassin was being attacked with grenades and killed his attacker thanks to an innocent bystander who got caught in the crossfire and inadvertently provided a bit of cover. I am still waiting on a detailed account of the exchange but WOW! That is a strong way to start the game. If you kill your assassin, you have the piece of mind of not having to watch your back.

Im going to let you savor that, SwampAss. for now....

Also i am hearing stories about a shady car chase and a daring bike getaway.

And a hilarious story about an assassin who killed what they thought was their target while he was eating, only to make a scene in a restaurant and find out the guy had NO IDEA what was going on.

Keep it shady, motherfuckers

First Blood?

Who is gonna break the ice and score the first kill?????
why not you?

Remember, you have seven days to at least make an attempt. Assassins who dont do their jobs get put on the wanted list. (note: if you are slacking and want to stay off the wanted list, i like burritos better than excuses)

Finished!

i got everybody a target right?
(agent STD, i didnt forget you, Im just waiting on some final details on your target)

For everybody else, registration is over and targets have been assigned. If you signed up and didnt hear from me give me a call ASAP 503.839.5820

I will have Hard copies SOON I swear!! You can all pay your $5 when i hand those out.

GO!

GAME ON!

Targets!

I emailed out the targets today. If you didn't get one and you thought you should have, call me. if there are mistakes, call me. questions, call me.

I just spent 4 hours at my computer. I'm going outside.

I will have hard copies in the next few days.

503.839.5820

get those water guns warmed up and remember, no killing till after midnight!

48 hours left!

you only have two days left till registration jumps to $5! so get signed up today!

dont forget to tell your friends!

Rule Change Final

Ok, so now your home and work addresses are mandatory. They are also safe as long as you are inside. The rules have been updated to reflect the changes.

Rule Change

After much debate, I think im going to make listing your house and work address mandatory. (assuming you have a house and job) This will keep things fair for all players and leave no reasons to enter anybodies dwelling uninvited. i

I am waiting until Mondayish to make the change to the official rules so you all have a chance to comment. If you figure out how to comment on the blog, feel free. Otherwise, email me your opinions.

Registration Open!

Email me at BikeAssassin@gmail.com and I will send you the registration form or you can get the form from the Official Registration Form Page.

You have until May 25th to sign up for free. After the 25th it will be $5.00 with the money going to buy trophies and prizes.

ONLINE!!!!

O.K. I got this shit online. Got a Rules Page, a Wanted page and a fancy FAQ thing. Send me your questions and comments at BikeAssassin@gmail.com

Official Bike Assassin Rules

Long story short: You get a profile on someone and have to go "kill" them with a squirt gun. They die and hand over the profile of who they were supposed to kill. You kill that person next. Last one standing wins.

Cost:
This shit is FREE motha fucka! unless you register after May 25th. Then it's $5.00. I accept donations that will go to getting some sweet prizes and trophies.

Winning:
Last person alive wins. Also prizes for: Most Kills, Most Melee Kills, Best Kill and so on. Once again, help with prizes and trophies is appreciated.

Moderation:
I am in charge of this one. I make the rules and settle disputes. My decisions are final, but I do like bribes.

Weapons:
Squirt guns, water balloons, and markers. Sharpies are allowed, but if you damage someones clothing, you will have to make it right. No Airsoft or Nerf. When you are out getting squirt guns, consider buying an extra one to be put in the prize pool. Remember I have a zero dollar budget.

Kills:
You have to leave a visible mark to get the kill. Any place on the body counts. If you get killed try to die with some honor and dignity. When you are killing try to do it decisively and with style.

You can kill:
Your target. Your Assassin (the person targeting you(see Protecting Yourself)). Any one you see trying to kill someone else. People on the wanted list.

Profiles:
The info we need to create a file on you consists of your name, your picture, your safe zones, and information you would like in your obituary. See official registration form. You should have your target info on you at all times so you can hand it over the moment your sorry ass gets wasted.

Safe Zones:
Inside your house. (unless you let the person in or have a party)
Inside your work.
Zoobomb, no kills on the west side of the river between Sunday at 7:00 pm and 7:00 am. Other formal gatherings. For these to count as safe you have to register them. If nobody knows where you work or live, you might want to choose not to list them, but then they are not safe.

Protecting Yourself:
If, and only if, you notice your targeter holding a weapon and making a move to attack you or get near you (regardless of whether you are in a safe zone at the time), then you may eliminate that assassin at any time in the future. If you succeed, it is called a “defensive elimination.” All the rules that apply to regular elimination also apply to defensive elimination.

Time Limits:
From The start of the game (June 1st) you have seven days to make at least an attempt to kill your target and report how it went to me. Failure to do so will get you put on the wanted list. Time limits may get shorter as the game progresses.

Whiteness:
The best kills are done in secret, but public assassinations are not against the rules. They will however leave you vulnerable and could even land you on the wanted list. If you witness an attack, you can whack either or both of the involved parties and acquire their targets. Bonus points if you get footage of your kills.

Other Reporting:
Email me when you make a kill. Email me when you get killed. Email me when you see someone else trying to make kills (We can discuss whether or not you want that person put on the wanted List, but I need to know what you saw)

Wanted List:
I will be posting a list of people who break rules, ignore time limits and make assassination attempts in public. These people can be killed by anyone playing the game.

Outside Assistance:
No one is allowed to eliminate your target but you. Others may ’’take bullets’’ for you but they cannot actually eliminate anyone. Non-players can also act as distractions and decoys. They can not be armed. (example: I can't give my mom a squirt gun and have her run up on you to throw you off. However, I can have her seduce you in order to throw you off.)

Secrecy:
It could be a huge advantage to not let anyone know you are playing or who your target is. If nobody knows where you live or work, you could keep that off your rap sheet, but if you do, its not "safe" so thats a tactical decision.

Espionage:
You can lie about ANY aspect of the game. The exception being the moment you are killed, you should admit it ad keep your honor and dignity. You may then go back to any form of deception you like after you hand over your target info to your killer. If you are able to obtain someones target sheet from another player (pickpocketing, rifling through their shit) you may kill that target. For the pickpocketed person to stay in the game they will need to kill their original target first or kill the person who stole their shit. You can be killed for snooping (as well as get your ass beat) and you accept all risks associated with that.